The robbery at my apartment

So, as many who follow me on Facebook or go to class with me already know, our apartment was broken into over Thanksgiving break, and we were robbed. Not much of my stuff was actually taken. Pretty much just my backpack was taken, mostly so the thief had something to throw stuff in.

However, the main story I want to tell is not of the robbery itself, but what came of it. When I first found out, I didn’t know if any of my stuff was taken. I just know my roommate was able to peek her head through my door to see if anything was taken. That was enough for me to know my room had been broken into because my door was locked.

Needless to say, I freaked out. I had no clue what of mine was still there or gone. For all I knew they had swiped everything of value from my room. My computer, Nintendo DS, swords, sound system, numerous CDs, my checkbook, prescription medications and cash. During that time of not knowing, I came to a huge realization.

The only thing I really was scared of being taken from my room was the $120 of cash I had loosely hidden away. I was ready to handle anything else being taken. Why so scared of just $120 of cash as opposed to everything else? Well, I’ve been saving that money up for visiting a very special girl I had met long long ago online. Yes, online. I know it’s pretty messed up to think about dating someone you met online, but trust me, I’ve been trying to kill any feelings I developed for her…for at least four years now.

In that moment with nearly everything of mine gone, I realized she was the thing I value most. It may be a losing battle–she’s in a relationship, after all. Even then, it would still be one hell of a distance. Murfreesboro to Dallas is pretty long distance. However, the robbery made me realize that I need to stop worrying about such nuances. I know my feelings, along with the many questions they raise. The main question being, how do I know I’m not just in love with the idea I’ve built up of her as opposed to her because we’ve never met? Well, I need to go meet her and get those questions answered.

What’s the worst that can come of it, anyway? She’s been one of my greatest friends. I’m not afraid of losing my feelings for her. I know we’ll always be great friends. If it wasn’t for her, I may not have discovered the music I like, and who knows, I may not have been able to make it through some very tough times she was there for. It’s crazy how close you can get to somebody miles away just by playing online games with them and talking on the phone.

Regardless, I’m sick of just dating around. I’ve gotten close to quite a few girls to only find things not working out mostly because I hadn’t gotten over this girl I met online. It’s not fair to those who I have tried dating. That’s one of the big reasons I’ve pretty much remained single for all of college. I need to get these questions answered. It took being robbed to make me realize just how important this is to me.

So yeah. This is one of my most heartfelt posts on here. Why publish it for the world to see? Well, I’m already working on a song dedicated to her that will be recorded in a power metal side project I’ll be working on over the course of next semester, which will be available for anyone online. I’ll blog more on that later.

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